humor Archives - Pastor Rich Eddy

Word!

Words are important. Without them, we would not have any dictionaries. Nor any crossword puzzles. Nor t-shirts. Nor politicians’ flowery speeches. Nor insightful, challenging, encouraging, and enlightening pastors’ sermons . . . Nor blogs, for that matter.

While you may think that we could do fine without at least one of the previous, word-dependent items, (I shudder to think of which one . . .), the fact is that words are essential to both communication, and human thought itself. We need words to identify and categorize everything, whether in our environment, our feelings, or our imaginations. If we try to communicate without written or spoken words, such as with sign-language or drawings, our messages are framed from words and received in words of some kind. Even if we talk with people who speak a foreign language, words and mental translations are involved. Yes, words are important, even vital, to human life and interaction. Word!

All of this leads us into a consideration of some changes in our language over the past “Year of Covid” which came as a result of the pandemic and our response to it. In order to make sure we understand what is being said, and to enhance our communication, I offer the following short glossary of new words and/or definitions for 2021:

Covid 19: originally meant Corona Virus Disease from 2019. Now it refers to the number of years we’ll be shut down.

Face masks – what used to get you arrested if you wore them into a bank, but are now required to get in to that same bank. Karen’s alternative definition: face-warmers.

Flatten the curve: what I tried to do by tugging on a girdle.

Herd immunity: what prosecutors offer defendants if they testify about what they “heard” their mob bosses say.

Quarantine: what they used to do to sick people, but now do to healthy people.

Social distancing: dropping Facebook, Twitter, and all other social media. Former definition: anti-social behavior, standoffishness.

Stimulus checks: money the government gives us to stimulate our grandchildren to work 60-hour weeks to pay for it.

Uncertain times: 1. A meaningless term, since every time is uncertain. 2. Your watch/clock/phone batteries are dead.

Unprecedented times: times when both sides alternately say, “He’s not my president!” Also spelled, “unpresidented.”

Vaccine: Hopefully, a shot in the arm for the economy.

Well, as you can see, words and their definitions can get pretty messed up, especially in the hands of certain bloggers. New words are created, old words take on new meanings, and different words are used to mean the same thing. For example, in my lifetime there have been over 400 words used to express the idea of “good.” These include: cool, awesome, boss, sweet, righteous, bodacious, the bomb, epic, legit, far-out, choice, rocking, slamming, to-die-for, dope, fly, and bad – just to name a few of the more neat-o terms.

If we try to keep up with the latest words and meanings, we are sure to get confused, especially if we try to base our view of reality and truth on them. We need to find something whose meanings are true and unchanging, able to weather the storms of change. Is there such a thing?

Yes, there is. It is the Word of God.

The Holy Scriptures are God’s eternal Word to us, revealing himself, our broken nature, our purpose in life, and the way of salvation through faith in his Son, Jesus Christ. It is true and unchanging, as it testifies about itself:

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Matthew 24:35, Mark 13:31, and Luke 21:33)
“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

There are many wonderful things about God’s Word: the beauty of the writing, the relevance of its teachings to our daily – and eternal – lives, its utter dependability in all it teaches, the history of mankind and God’s dealings with us, and of course, God’s love revealed in the gift and sacrifice of his own Son for our sakes. And because it comes from the very mouth of God, when we read and hear it we are not alone, for the Holy Spirit comes to us in those words to convict, heal, to inspire us, and to move us to works of love. The Word itself is a means of grace, through which God calls us to him.

Our response to God’s love and grace, revealed in his Word, is to love his Word and cherish it in our hearts. Psalm 1:2 declares of the righteous person, “his delight is in the law of the Lord.”

When I speak of the unchanging nature of the Scriptures, I am not saying we must read it in the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. Just as there is a need to translate the Bible into other languages so that the Word may spread to all nations and be understood by the people of those nations, so also we need new English translations as our language changes. We can’t just say, “The King James Version was good enough for Moses, so it’s good enough for me.” Although it may be the most beautifully written of all English versions, there have been enough changes in our common language that readers may miss the important meanings that God intended for us to know. One of the most well-known changes, for example, is the word, “suffer.” In King James’ day (the early 1600s) it meant “to allow”; today it means “to endure, especially pain or anguish.” So in the King James Version, when Jesus tells his disciples to “Suffer the little children to come unto me,” he is not endorsing child abuse. He is telling them to “Let the kids come to me.” To avoid misunderstanding and keep up with language changes, the King James Version was revised multiple times by the 1700s, the first being just 18 years after the original translation.

This updating of translations is no way undermines the authority and unchanging nature of God’s Word as recorded in our Bible. It is our language, not God’s revelation, which has changed. Likewise, when we speak to people about our faith, and explain what God has done for us in Christ, we may need to use new words and phrases to properly express the truth. But the truth we express is unchanging.

To that, we say, “Amen!” Or as you might hear these days, “Word!”

Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Word!

Read: Psalm 119, a hymn of praise for God’s Word.

The Twelve Months of Covid

In my previous blog, I referred to different versions of favorite Christmas carols and hymns, modified due to the current pandemic. While not belittling the people who are suffering from this disease or the shut-downs, it does help to be able to laugh adversity in the face (even if that face is masked). Here is my version of The Twelve Days of Christmas:

The Twelve Months of Covid

On the first month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Stay home and you’ll be virus-free!
On the second month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Two hands keep washing!
On the third month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Three diff’rent masks!
On the fourth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Four sterile wipes!
On the fifth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Five quar-an-tines!
On the sixth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Six feet apart!
On the seventh month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Seven meals delivered!
On the eighth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Eight grades home schooling!
On the ninth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Nine Zoomers meeting!
On the tenth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Ten months and counting!
On the eleventh month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Eleven sports not playing!
On the twelfth month of Covid, my gov’nor said to me: Twelve recalls coming!

Of course, I actually prefer a different version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, one in which the numbered gifts serve as a memory device for Christian beliefs. In this other version, the verses represent:

“My true love” = God; “sent to me” = by God’s grace

The Partridge = Jesus Christ
Two Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
Three French Hens = Faith, hope and love, the theological virtues (1 Corinthians 13:13)
Four Calling Birds = the four Evangelist and/or their four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John)
Five Golden Rings = The first five books of the Old Testament, the “Pentateuch” (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy)
Six Geese A-laying = the six days of creation (Genesis 1)
Seven Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, knowledge, counsel, fortitude, understanding, piety, and fear of the Lord; all but piety listed in Isaiah 11:2)*
Eight Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes (Matthew 5:2-11)
Nine Ladies Dancing = the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)
Ten Lords A-leaping = the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:1-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21)
Eleven Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles (Acts 1:13)
Twelve Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles’ Creed, the twelve tribes of Israel

In keeping with the “laugh at Covid” theme, our Christmas decorations this year have changed. Since nobody is visiting, Karen decided to put just one ornament, a red cardinal, on our main tree. When she sent a picture to one of her friends, the friend replied that the bird was “in isolation.”

And then, there is the nurse ornament from my late sister, which we modified slightly before hanging it on our smaller, “retro” tree:

If only we could get her to keep her nose inside the mask!

That’s all for now. Until we communicate again, may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read: Job 8:21; Job 39:22; Psalm 2:4; plus all the verses cited in The Twelve Days of Christmas listed above.

*But see also 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, which lists 9 gifts: “For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.” (Emphasis added)

Just Plain Nuts

Just plain nuts!

No, I’m not ordering a snack of cashews, almonds, or peanuts; nor am I doing a little maintenance on my car, and asking Karen to hand me small threaded metal pieces to go on the end of some bolts. No, when I say, “Just plain nuts!” I’m referencing an old Far Side cartoon* in which a psychiatrist is writing “Just plain nuts!” in his notebook while listening to his patient ramble.

I used that cartoon a few years ago during a training session I taught to our church’s new Stephen Ministers, to emphasize that their work as Christian caregivers was not to diagnose or treat psychological problems. But now, I have found a new use for that cartoon’s phrase: for I have come to the conclusion that the words, “just plain nuts,” apply to me.

Oh, I wasn’t always this way (though there are some who might disagree with that assessment); I used to be rational and level-headed, a “rock” of stability and calmness, a living fulfillment of the phrase,”If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs.”** Yes-siree, I was the poster-child for mental stability and common sense (not to mention, humility). But then something happened: eight months (and counting) of coronavirus shutdown have driven me nuts.

Now, I know that many people are suffering mentally, as well as physically and financially, from this pandemic and the ensuing shutdowns across our country. What I am saying in no way is meant to minimize or mock their very real sufferings. But in my case, I find that my sense of humor has always helped me deal with many of life’s stresses. Such as:

The time I went in for a colonoscopy, and the nurse came to the waiting room to fetch me. She apologized for the delay, saying that “the doctor is a little behind in his work.” You can guess my reply. We walked another ten feet before the nurse got it and started laughing.
The time I rode in a tow truck while my car was being towed. The chatty driver went on and on, telling stories laced with profanities, until he asked what kind of work I did. I smiled and said, “Pastor.” We rode in silence for the next five miles.
Or the times when I was in my wheelchair, and would look for down-ramps where I could let it roll while singing out, “Wheeee!”

Now, after all these months of shutdown, I see similar signs that I am indeed becoming, “just plain nuts.”

I thought of pasting photos of the coronavirus on my face mask to ensure six feet (or more, maybe a lot more) of social distancing.
Among my late sister’s belongings we found a Christmas tree ornament, a little nurse doll complete with stethoscope and face mask. I wrote 2020 on the face mask and set it aside for this year’s tree .
I want to wear my Darth Vader mask next time I go to the store.
I got the idea of giving out oranges for Halloween. Not so crazy, except I wanted to stick golf tees in them sticking out in every direction.

I have had other, even more wonderful ideas, but fortunately, cooler heads (i.e., Karen) have prevailed, and I have behaved myself. But you get the idea: sometimes we just have to laugh at our troubles to prevent being over-whelmed by them. I am not alone in this view: The American novelist, E.W. Howe, said, “If you don’t learn to laugh at troubles, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you grow old.” So, knowing that I will one day grow old, I am learning to laugh at my troubles while still young.

The problem with my laughing during times of trouble is that other people think I’m not serious about life, that I take things too lightly, or don’t care that others are hurting. I might even be considered a fool, someone with no idea of the seriousness of a situation. You may agree, and think this about me because of my (sometimes) slightly warped sense of humor. You may be right. But, in my defense, let me offer the following:

Humor and laughter can be escape valves to relieve the natural stress that builds up in us when faced with difficult situations. Like the safety valve on a hot water heater that can prevent a catastrophic explosion when the pressure gets to be too much, it’s better for us to “let off a little steam” by laughing than to “blow a gasket” in anger.
Sometimes, if we step back and look at ourselves as others see us, what we see can be genuinely funny.
Mistakes, injuries, and embarrassing situations just show we are human and that we share the same challenges of life with every other person who has ever lived. It is a humbling check on our egos to recognize our short-comings and to be able to laugh at them. (That doesn’t mean it’s good to laugh at other people’s problems; that can be just plain mean!) Also, the ability to laugh at ourselves and not take ourselves too seriously is one of the traits which humans share, something that sets us apart from other creatures.
Why be miserable, dwelling on every problem, real or imagined, when our lives can be so much more enjoyable? Shakespeare wrote, “A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.” (Julius Caesar, II, 2).
God has a sense of humor. Where else did we get our sense of humor than from the One who created us in his own image? The Scriptures have numerous examples of humor, for example:
- When Elijah mocks the priests of Baal after nothing happens in response to their calling upon their pagan deity to send fire from heaven; Elijah tells them to yell louder, in case their god is sleeping or busy relieving himself in the bathroom (1 Kings 18:20-40).
- Or when the non-believing seven sons of Sceva try to exorcise a demon in Jesus’ name, only to be overpowered and run away naked from the encounter (Acts 19:11-17).
- In Jonah, the reluctant prophet refuses to go overland to the east to Nineveh, instead fleeing to the west by sea to escape God’s call, even though Jonah admits that God made both the land and the sea! (Jonah 1:10).
- According to 2 Chronicles 21:20, “Jehoram was thirty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eight years. He passed away, to no one’s regret, and was buried in the City of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.” I think we get the not-so-subtle message: Jehoram was not popular!
- In Job 40:15, God gives Job an example of his majestic creative power when he says, “Behold, Behemoth, which I made as I made you.” When I behold the platypus I see an example of God’s sense of humor as well.

There are plenty of other examples, such as 89-year-old Sarah laughing when she heard that she would have a child, only to have the child a year later, a boy whose name, Isaac, means “Laughter” (Genesis 18:10-15). Some of the Bible’s humor is more evident in the original languages, due to puns and other plays on words. And much of it comes when people try to take themselves too seriously.

I think one source of our taking everything too seriously is the devil, who constantly tries to accuse, frighten, distract, and ruin our lives. He tells us to forget all of God’s blessings, and focus on the judgment we deserve. Or, he turns us against each other and builds up our own pride so that we take offense at everything and everyone who we think degrades us. With such attitudes, how can we laugh at misfortune?

The cure is not to give in to such spiritual temptations and fears, but to have the right attitude regarding our problems. That means to trust in God, to believe his promises, receive his grace and forgiveness, and to look for the many blessings he gives us even in this fallen world. This is more than just looking for the silver lining in the dark clouds; it is about having a truly biblical perspective that ultimately, God is in charge, and that we will spend all eternity with him in a heaven when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4). That should encourage us, no matter what we are going through during this pandemic, or afterwards.

And if the devil still won’t leave us alone, remember what Martin Luther said: “The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.” So shall I laugh in the devil’s face, even if the rest of the world thinks that I am “just plain nuts!”?

Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read: Acts 19:11-20, 1 Kings 18:20-40, Job 40, Jonah 1

** From the poem, “If”, circa 1895 by Rudyard Kipling

Thanks, I Needed That!

This week we will celebrate Thanksgiving, that holiday when we take off work, get together with family and friends, cook meals, stuff ourselves along with our turkeys, watch the big game, nap, and oh yeah . . . give thanks. For some of us it means worshiping at church, and hopefully for everyone, it includes moments to pause, consider our blessings, and thank the One who is the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17 – “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights . . .”).

For the many across our land who attend Thanksgiving services or read Thanksgiving Day devotionals, they will be challenged and encouraged to list the many blessings for which they should be grateful. Those lists often include such things as: family, friends, food and other material provisions, home and work, health and happiness, our country, our pastors 🙂 and life itself, both now and in eternity. I have included such blessings in my own sermons and in the prayers of the church during our Thanksgiving Day services. These blessings are in a sense as traditional as the meals (and naps) we enjoy over this holiday.

But today, I would like to offer additional thanks to God for one other blessing that often gets overlooked, and that is this: I thank God for giving us a sense of humor.

As my wife said just today, she is grateful that I make her laugh, and that she can still laugh at me, I mean, with me, after 43 years of marriage. Actually, I think I give her more things to laugh about now than in our early years, since we have experienced more funny things over all those years, which have accumulated like gray hairs and “love handles.” (Now, if we could just remember all of them!)

Certainly, there is humor to be found in puns, in jokes, and in the routines of stand-up comedians. There is slap-stick humor and prat-falls, and even the barbed witticisms of insult kings like the late Don Rickles. But even though I have laughed at humor expressed in all those varied forms, the sense of humor I’m talking about is not contrived by someone to make others laugh, but rather is found in our ability to find humor in our life events and circumstances. This sense of humor provides a relief valve that protects us from being overwhelmed by frustrations and difficulties that come from living in a fallen world. It allows us to laugh in the face of danger or disappointment, and to endure pain and poverty. It keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously, and can’t help but keep us humble when we can laugh at ourselves and our own foibles. To quote The Joker from the Batman movies, “Why so serious?” We are told by the Lord to remove the log from our own eyes before we criticize someone else’s speck (Matthew 7:5), but shouldn’t we laugh at our log, too, when we find it?

Certainly, I have been blessed with the gift of being able to laugh at myself (maybe because the Lord knew I would need it so much!) and at many of the circumstances which I have faced. This has lessened disappointments, softened insults, and helped keep me balanced in a world (certainly, not me!) that often seems so crazy. It doesn’t mean that I have laughed out loud at everything, but that I have seen the events from a different perspective. I offer you the following as examples of what I’m talking about:

This last week, I had some dental surgery that involved a tooth extraction and a bone graft in my jaw. Not what you would consider a funny situation (though I could tell you it left me in stitches!). But add to that the fact that the oral surgeon used bone from a cow for the graft, and the possibilities are almost endless. When the surgeon asked how I felt afterward, I said, “Moo!” (Which from his reaction, I guess he’s heard before). Then they gave me post-op care instructions which advised cold, soft foods the first couple days, progressing to grass and alfalfa by day four. Even though I am sore and bruised from the surgery, I’m not mad (no mad cow here) at the surgeon, because after all, “To err is human, but to forgive is bovine.”
Then there was the time one Sunday morning when a fellow pastor and the men’s choir set me up. Having established early on that I am not skilled at singing, I decided not to sing with the men at either morning service for their traditional Super Bowl Sunday anthem. During the announcements at the first service, I commended the men for singing, but apologized for not joining them at rehearsal, which meant I couldn’t sing with them that day. Knowing my quality of singing, most people chuckled and I went on with the rest of the announcements. Came time for the second service, the other pastor encouraged me to make the same announcement again. But when I did, I realized why he asked me to do so. Between the services, the men had prepared a little surprise: as soon as I said I wouldn’t be singing with them, they broke out in the Hallelujah Chorus, leaving me speechless and the congregation roaring in laughter. The pastor who did that to me has since wisely moved to Tanzania.
One time I took a flight where I was sitting next to a man with a prosthetic leg. We had purchased the “Cheap seats” and found ourselves sitting with our backs to a bulkhead, so we couldn’t recline our seats. This was fine until the seats in front of us leaned back, which left us no room; also, his prosthesis got jammed by the now-reclined seat. We looked at each other’s discomfort, and began to discuss the preference of sitting anywhere else in the plane, which led to our dreaming about moving to first class. We chuckled about it, and then he asked, “I wonder how much it costs for a first-class seat?” To which I innocently replied, “Probably an arm and a leg.” Which I instantly regretted saying, especially as he got up and found a vacant seat elsewhere in the plane.
On another flight, my sense of humor got me in trouble. It was a packed plane, and being the last to board, I was forced to sit between two guys as big as me. They frowned as I squeezed into my seat, and once the plane took off, we all three took out paperback books to read. There we were, all three holding up books in front of us, crammed together in those small seats. The situation struck me as funny, so wanting to lighten things up I said, “Why don’t I just hold up one book and we can all read it?” Apparently, they failed to appreciate just how hilarious I was, as they continued to read their books and sat in stony silence for the entire flight.
Finally, there is an incident from my early twenties which I will now share with you, but you must NEVER TELL anyone else! I went to the doctor for a routine checkup, and after the usual poking and prodding, the doctor sent me to get a urine sample. The nurse directed me to the bathroom, which I entered and prepared to “collect” the required sample. Only there weren’t any cups or vials in the bathroom, just a sign above the toilet that read, “Aim to Center of Bowl.” I looked around again, but still there was only that sign. So I figured, they must have a collecting device in the toilet, that would trap the sample as long as I “aimed to the center of the bowl.” So I did, washed my hands, and returned to the exam room. The nurse looked at me kind of funny and asked where my sample was; I told her how I had followed the instructions. With a big grin, she led me back to the bathroom and opened a little sliding window, behind which was a nice little collecting bottle. As she walked away, I am sure I heard her laugh and I knew that I would be the subject of their next staff meeting. I blame it on the inexperience of youth, but though I almost died of embarrassment at the time, now I just laugh at it.

In Umberto Eco’s book, The Name of the Rose, the plot revolves around a monastery that houses a secret collection of writings that present God as having a sense of humor. This is considered so scandalous and threatening to the Christian faith that the monks will even kill to keep the books hidden from view. This is similar to ancient Greek dramas which were of two types: comedies, which were about people, and tragedies, which were about the “gods.” To many, the very idea that God could laugh or find humor is considered heretical. But if that is true, where does our humor come from? Is having a sense of humor part of the image of God in which we were created? And why can good, clean Christian comedy be so funny, if God is not the source of our sense of humor? Is humor a sin? A vice, or a virtue? A blessing or a curse?

I believe our ability to find humor and laugh is like other human abilities: it is God given, but like our other gifts, it can be used for good or evil. If we deride other people, make “fun” of them before others, or mock them, we have sinned. If we laugh at someone’s misfortune, guffaw when they trip and fall, or chuckle at their embarrassments, then we have broken the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. But if we can use humor to entertain people positively, defuse tense or embarrassing situations, help people improve behavior by pointing out ironies, and keep ourselves humble, then humor is a good thing. So I say to God for his gift of humor, “Thanks, I needed that!”

I also believe God does himself have a sense of humor, though the evidence for it will have to wait for another time. For now, let me just offer one word: platypus.

In the meantime, have a great Thanksgiving celebration, and remember the reason for the day, which is to give thanks to God for all his blessings. May God continue to grant you those in abundance!

May the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read and enjoy: Numbers 22:1-35