Lighten up!
My last six posts were quite serious, dealing with theological “debates” throughout Church history, and with the spiritual warfare affecting births in our country. After reading those posts, my wife said I needed to lighten up in my next post. She said people needed cheering up with posts that are not so heavy. So, to honor her wise request, this blog will present you with the following stories.
1. I grew up with puns, the word plays that are known as the “lowest form” of humor. (Which is why I find them amusing). For example, my mom used to say: “Use the word ‘incongruous’ in a sentence. ‘In congruous they pass many laws.'” In restaurants, she would order Sanka coffee, a decaffeinated drink, and when the server brought it to her, she would say, “Sanka very much.” I didn’t have a chance when my best friend at the time gave me a birthday present, “Bennett Cerf’s Book of Outrageous Puns.” This is to say I appreciate a good pun. Which happened when Karen and I were traveling one time, and were passed by a truck hauling a horse trailer. As I looked over at it, I was surprised to see the trailer was half the size of other trailers I had seen before. I pointed it out to Karen and asked, “I wonder what kind of horse could fit in such a trailer?” To which she replied, without a pause, “A quarter horse!”
Job 39:18, “When she rouses herself to flee, she laughs at the horse and his rider.”
2. As many of you have noticed, who have sat near me in church, singing is not one of my strong suits. The knowledge of this shortcoming has followed me throughout my life. I first took note of this when I was a camp counselor back in my early teen years. During one of our nightly campfires, it was my turn to lead the singing. I got up, and circling the fire, I led the kids in singing, Sweet Low, Sweet Chariot. I noticed one little girl watching me each time I passed her. Finally, the second or third time she tugged on my pants leg. “Mister!” she said, “Mister!” I stopped and asked her, “What?” To which she replied, “Mister – you’re singing off key!”
Psalm 71:23, “My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.”
3. A more recent example of my singing skills came at St. Peter’s, on a day when the Men’s Choir was singing A Mighty Fortress. Because they only sang once or twice a year, they held a rehearsal on the Wednesday before they performed. Because I was making the announcements that day, I made a little joke about the men singing, saying, “Sorry guys, I missed the rehearsal so I won’t be able to sing with you today.” To which there were some chuckles among the congregation (who knew my vocal challenges). When the second service began, I made the same announcement. But, as soon as I said, “Sorry, I can’t sing with you today,” the pianist hit a note on the piano, and the whole men’s choir belted out, “Hallelujah!” To which the entire congregation burst out laughing. Karen said it was the only time she ever saw me speechless!
Psalm 100:1-2, “Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!”
4. Not all my embarrassments have had to do with singing (After all, a fellow pastor assured me I was singing on key – just my own key!) . Another occasion occurred on a flight. I had bought the cheapest seat, which had put my back up against a bulkhead, that prevented me from leaning my seat back. After I took my seat another passenger came and took the seat next to mine. As we chatted amicably, I noticed he was missing his left leg; instead he wore a prosthesis. This became evident when the person sitting in front of him reclined his seat, which when leaning back, jammed into the poor guy’s artificial leg. As he struggled to free his prosthesis from the offending seat, he and I agreed how nice it would to fly first class. He asked, “I wonder what it would cost for a first class ticket?” To which I replied, without thinking, “Probably an arm and a leg.” Which killed our conversation, especially when the guy got up and moved forward to a different seat!
Psalm 126:2, “Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy;”
5. One of the worst flights Karen and I took was when we were the last two to board, and sat in seats far removed from each other. My seat was in the first row, a middle seat sandwiched between two guys who were each larger than me. I apologized, then squeezed into my seat. Once the flight took off, we each took out books and started reading. After a few minutes of us all crammed together, all trying to read, I suggested, “Why don’t I just hold one book and we can all read it together?” No response. No chuckle. Not one word spoken the entire flight. Oops. When I checked in with Karen, she had her own situation: she had to help the woman beside her change her baby’s diaper on the tray table; Karen helpfully turned on the air to save the nearby passengers.
Proverbs 15:13a, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face.“
6. Sometimes, language differences can be a cause for humor. In the summer of 1972, I worked for several weeks in a youth camp in France. I was assigned to a cabin of both German and French junior high age boys. While I could speak to each group in its own language, to solve some basic communication problems, I taught them such useful English phrases as “Shut up!” and “Good night!” However, my main problem was not with the campers; it was with one French counselor. The first time I met her at one mealtime, and she learned I was an American, she greeted me with, in English, “You are an American pig!” Great I thought. At following meals, she changed to French, calling me a couchon, French for pig. After a few times of that, I called her a couchonette, which I assumed was the French word for female pig. She smiled and said, “No, that is not the French word for female pig. The correct word in “ange.” Having been corrected, now, whenever she called me couchon, I called her ange. She acted suitably upset, and so we continued until another French counselor sat with us. As soon as I said my insult, he spit out his drink, and asked, what I was doing. I said whenever she calls me a pig, I call her the same. He said, “No you’re not! Whenever she calls you a pig, you are calling her an angel!” At which I looked over to see a gleeful smirk on her face!
Job 8:21, “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.”
There are many other humorous stories I could tell, including another singing embarrassment, another language faux pas (See, I did learn some French beside the words for pig and angel!). And a blunder at the doctor’s office that would leave you in stitches! (Or in “sutures,” suit yourself!). In all such situations in life, it pays to have a sense of humor. While there are many things life requires us to take seriously, ourselves should not be one of those things. So let us lighten up when we can, and not worry about tomorrow, for as Jesus said, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself” (Matthew 6:34).
Isaiah 55:12, “For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.”
Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be graceful to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Read: Isaiah 49:13.