In the previous blog, I lamented the fact that although the common sentiment these pandemical* days is that “We’re all in this together,” our society is anything but “together.” We are divided and set at odds with each other over many issues and identities, causing much animosity and even violence. I responded by suggesting several biblical approaches to mending our divisions, beginning with these four: 1. Remember that we are all related; 2.Remove the log from our own eye; 3. Don’t judge the heart or motives; and 4. Speak the truth in love. Now we continue, with three more ways to help bring us together:
5. Walk together and find common cause. How do we overcome feelings of division? By working together with someone and accomplishing a common purpose. Whether it be in our job/career, in sports, in school projects, in family emergencies, in combat, or just about any common endeavor, when we stand and strive side by side with someone, we create a bond that can overcome real (and artificial) barriers. When you have identified someone as your teammate or helped each other do something, or come along side in times of difficulty, you have in some way become one person.
I think of past barriers and prejudices that have fallen when previous opponents have come together to work in common purpose. Former enemies become allies when a new threat emerges; shared resources provide for common needs, and a shared sense of accomplishment breeds good will. Rather than sitting around and airing grievances, why not work together and celebrate what you have done? After all, “We’re all in this together!” As Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” If we do agree to walk together, have we not begun to share a common experience and done so peacefully? And will that sense of agreement not grow and bless our relationship?
There is an Arabic expression: “There are salt and bread between us.” It refers to a bond of friendship forged by acts of hospitality, when two or more people have shared a meal. As a proponent of potlucks (and other buffets, but I digress) I have seen the enjoyment and commonality people have when they share their bounty and eat with each other. It’s interesting that after Jesus’ resurrection, two disciples who walked with him on the road to Emmaus didn’t recognize him until he broke bread with them (Luke 24:30-31). How many divisions could we mend by working hard together and then sitting down to share a meal? I think that would help a lot.
6. Forgive as we have been forgiven. An absolutely vital step in breaking down barriers is to forgive the wrongs the other person has done to you. Refusing to forgive not only hardens the wall between you, it also hardens your heart and diminishes your soul. Unforgiveness grows a bitter root in you that colors all your relationships and makes them awkward, painful, and unrewarding. Just seeing the other person causes your stomach to tighten and your mind to close down; you anticipate more conflict and dread what could happen. But when you forgive, you free yourself from the hurt that was caused you. As one of my pastors once wisely said, “When you forgive someone, what that person did loses the power to hurt you.”
While going through a painful divorce, one of my relatives was understandably angry at her soon to be ex-husband. He had in truth done some horrible things to her, for which she was very bitter. As we talked, I asked whether he was unhappy the way things had turned out, and she said no, that he was probably out having a great time. So I asked her how she was doing. She said she was miserable. Then I asked, “So, why make yourself miserable when he was happy?” A few days later, she was able to forgive him and found the spiritual release that forgiveness provides.
In his Sermon on the Mount, our Lord taught us how to pray, giving us what we call the Lord’s Prayer. After saying, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. . .” he continued with, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:12, 14-15). Jesus sure made it sound like our own forgiveness depends on our willingness to forgive others, a point he later made explicit in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. In the parable, a servant who owed his master a huge, unpayable amount was forgiven his debt, but then went out and refused to forgive a tiny debt that another servant owed him. When the master learned of his unforgiveness, he reinstated the first servant’s debt and threw him into jail (Matthew 18:21-35).
Colossians 3:13 says, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Can’t say it much plainer than that; not only are we obligated to forgive, we are the primary beneficiaries of the forgiveness we give, both for God’s forgiveness of our own sins and for the effect it has on us. There is a genuine freedom we experience when we let go of the anger we harbor and the regrets that go with it, and knowing at the same time that we have likewise been forgiven.
One of the most moving stories of the power of forgiveness is in the book, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom. If you get the chance, find and read her story (It was also excerpted in Guideposts; you can easily find it online). The short version is that Corrie was talking to a group about her experiences as a prisoner in the Ravensbruck concentration camp for hiding Jews from the Nazis. At the end of her talk, one of the former guards at the camp came up to her and asked her to forgive what he had done. Her struggle and what happened next, are so authentic and powerful, I would cheapen it by trying to summarize it here. Please find it and read it yourself.
7. Pray for the other person. By that, I don’t mean that you should pray that the other person gets hit by a bus or suffers some other horrible fate. You are, after all, to pray for that person and not against him or her. You pray that the Lord touches that person’s heart, whether to open their eyes to the mistakes they are making, or to turn to the Lord for forgiveness, or for restoration of your relationship with them, or for the Lord to bless them and keep them (Not quite what the rabbi prayed in Fiddler on the Roof, “May the Lord bless and keep the Czar – far away from us!”). Not only may God answer your prayer and actually bless the other person, he will also bless you by softening your heart toward that person. God works in your heart, growing your love for the other person to be like his own love: a love that is forgiving, patient, and desiring good for even an enemy.
Jesus addressed this, saying that our prayers are not just for our friends and family. In Luke 6, he said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” You may think, “That’s easy for him to say; those pastoral types always say nice things, but what happens when they are attacked? How do they respond then?” Well, we know exactly how Jesus responded: when they crucified Jesus – after torturing and mocking him, he prayed for his tormentors, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He who could have called down legions of angels to save himself and destroy his enemies, prayed instead for their forgiveness. That is the same forgiveness the Father gives you and me inspite our our sins which out Jesus on that cross.
There you have it: seven suggestions for helping each other to heal the fractions in our society, so that we may truly be in this “together.” While these steps are all scriptural, they would help anyone and everyone come together and overcome the problems that divide us. And it’s high time we did something, for as Benjamin Franklin once said about the need for unity among the states at the signing of the Declaration of Independence: “We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.”
May the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Read: Matthew 18:21-35; Luke 24:13-35; Luke 6:27-36
*Yes, pandemical is a word.
Thank you again, Pastor, for your insightful message and suggestions for riding this out together for the betterment of all and to the glory of God. Your opinions arrive amidst so many contrary “news” items in the media, and are certainly welcome.
Hope you and Karen are well and are able to continue your ministries.
In Christ,
Todd and Emily