One Hundred and Counting

In my previous blog post, (Ninety-Nine and Counting), I talked about my father and some of the influences he had on me during my childhood and youth which remain with me even today. I mentioned that he would have turned 99 this fall had he not passed away at the age of 94. After expressing my gratitude for having had the dad I did, I posed the obvious question,  “Okay, Rich, we get it about your father. But what about your mother?” I closed my post by saying, “. . . that’s another story. . .”

Well, it’s time for that other story. My mother would have turned 100 this past spring, if she hadn’t passed away in 1999 at the age of 82. One hundred years would have been a significant milestone in her earthly life, but as with my father, my mother’s story doesn’t end with her leaving this world. She also was a strong Christian in faith and life, so I have complete confidence that she is indeed still alive in Christ’s presence for “Ten thousand years and then forevermore” (from the song, 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman). As did my dad, she had a profound influence on me, (besides the obvious fact that she bore me and brought me into the world!): on my faith, on my education, and on my worldview.

Here are some of the events and situations involving my mom which I remember most, and which helped to make me who I am today:

1. The first event actually took place before I was born, while my mom was still carrying me in the womb. She told me how one day she was standing on the concrete back steps of their apartment building, when she suddenly felt a push that propelled her headfirst down the steps. There was no way to stop or catch herself, but at the last second she felt a hand against her chest that caught her and set her (and me!) safely down on one of the steps. If that hadn’t happened, one or both of us would have certainly been injured or even killed. Of course, in my own prideful thoughts, I figured God wanted to save me, but even if it was only my mom he wanted to rescue, and I was just collateral “un-damage,” that’s okay with me!
2. During my early grade-school days in Detroit, my mom and I would go downtown to see some movies. I especially remember seeing “The King and I” starring Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner. Some of my memories were of my mom singing along with the movie’s songs with her beautiful voice (unfortunately I got my dad’s genes in that area. . .). But the song I remember the most was “Getting to Know You.” Besides the tune being catchy, the song taught about learning other cultures and appreciating people who are different from you. My mom not only sang that song enthusiastically, she also talked about the theme in ways that a little boy could understand.
3.  My mom’s acceptance of others was more than a nice idea; it carried over to real-life relationships. She was friendly with the Chinese couple that lived next door, and with a Japanese family that went to our church. Later, after we moved, and our small all-white Methodist Church merged with a same-size all-black Methodist Church in the mid-1960s, she enthusiastically encouraged the merger to show we could be united in Christ. She later supported keeping the black minister and getting rid of the theologically-liberal white one, and encouraged my decision to join the all-black (except for me) Gospel Choir. She even supported me after I botched a solo in church one Sunday morning with that choir, giving me a hug and saying, “At least you tried!”
4. She also supported me the day I trimmed our cat’s whiskers. I had just gotten a haircut myself, and decided the cat needed to get one, too. A  lot of moms would have panicked or shrieked to see what I did, but my mom was impressed that I had neatly laid newspapers on my bed to catch the whiskers – a fact she never forgot and often cited even decades later.
5. My mom was sentimental in many ways, especially when it came to patriotism. She loved our country, and was proud of the good things in our history. She would get a little teary-eyed and choked up when seeing a patriotic movie or hearing certain national hymns. I learned from her about our history, and was encouraged by her to show my patriotism to others.
6. She also had a soft heart for things English, and loved finally getting to go there with my dad after his retirement. Which isn’t surprising, considering she was Virginia Elizabeth, named for England’s “Virgin Queen,” Queen Elizabeth I. (Just as I was named for King Richard the Lion-Hearted; see my previous blog about that . . .) We even went and saw Queen Elizabeth II when she came to Chicago soon after her coronation.
7. My mom put a high value on education, making sure I had good opportunities to learn at school and at home. She supported my going into our school district’s advanced academic program, and showed up to defend me before a teacher who had criticized my homework. She celebrated and attended academic awards ceremonies, and watched my TV appearances on a high school academic-challenge quiz show. She and dad sacrificed and made sure I could go to college, even though I passed up our less-expensive local state university. She set a high bar, since she had read a lot and had a gifted memory; even in her later years she could still recite poems she had learned in grade school, such as Old Ironsides by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
8. My mom loved languages and had what the actor John Carradine called, “a love affair with the English language.” She studied Latin and German in school, and though I didn’t learn German at home, she would sometimes throw out phrases such as “Guten Morgen! Hast du gut geschlafen?” (Good morning! Did you sleep well?) and “Gesundheit!” (Gesundheit!). She also would play on my dad’s name by saying to him, “Ich liebe Dick” meaning “I love Dick,” instead of the correct “Ich liebe dich,” (I love you). She instilled that enjoyment of language in me, especially when she would make puns in English: one of her favorites was, “Use incongruous in a sentence: In Congruous they pass many laws . . .” She would also order Sanka beverage in a restaurant, and then say to the server, “Sanka very much!” when the drink arrived.
9. As you can tell, she had quite a sense of humor (?), which she passed on to me. She would get laughing so hard sometimes she couldn’t even talk; we had to wait to find out what had struck her as so funny. She enjoyed comedians such as Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, and Red Skelton, but could find humor in life situations as well.
10. Finally, like my dad, she was strong in her faith in Christ, and showed it by word and action, She was active in church choirs and circles; she worshiped faithfully and read her Bible; she sewed cloth pads for cancer patients; and she was a generous giver, often writing letters in response to charity solicitations, explaining why she couldn’t send more. She was a faithful wife and mother, fulfilling those calls in her life, including raising me, her favorite son (Okay, her only son). And she supported me going to seminary, sacrificing and then proudly placing the red stole over my shoulders at my ordination. (Though, on the way out from the service, she said, “It’s too bad you couldn’t have become a Methodist minister!” She was not joking.)

My mom blessed her family even in her passing, by which she showed how a Christian should die: at peace and ready to go to heaven to be with the Lord. I was proud to conduct her funeral service sharing about her faith and our Christian hope even in times of loss.

But her final blessing was reserved for someone else: one of my sister’s friends came to the funeral, heard about my mom’s faith and the promises of scripture, and left the service telling her husband that she also now believed in Jesus Christ and the promises of eternal life she had heard. Her husband called my sister a week later to tell her that his wife had suddenly died. But he was at peace, knowing that his wife had come to faith. Who knows how many other people she had similarly blessed over her 82 years? Who knows how many you may affect similarly!?

And now, may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read: Psalm 22:9-10; Proverbs 1:8-9