My Wife Is a Karen

My wife is a Karen, my father was a Dick, and one of my best friends is a John. No, I’m not insulting them – those are their real names. Contrary to some current memes and connotations, my wife is not a self-centered, privileged woman who treats people condescendingly; my father was not a jerk (nor a private detective nor something else); nor does my friend frequent practitioners of the “world’s oldest profession.”*

How is it that perfectly good names take on such offensive meanings? How is it that a name such as Karen, which comes from a Greek word meaning “Pure,” came to be used as a put-down?

Sometimes, it happens because a certain person who bore that name did something bad, causing people to forever associate that name with wrong-doing. For example, if you call someone a Judas, a Benedict Arnold, or a Quisling (Norwegian traitor in World War II), you are calling them a traitor who has betrayed someone’s trust. There is even something called a “Judas goat,” a goat trained to lead sheep to the slaughter while not itself being killed. And would anyone name their newborn son, “Hitler”? (Actually, a couple in New Jersey did just that, and lost custody of their child for it!)

Sometimes, characters in books or movies are so stereotyped that their names become synonymous with certain characteristics. Someone (especially a girl) who is always cheerful and sees only the good in everyone and everything is a “Pollyanna.” Someone who is good at everything without training or experience, such as the character Rey in the Star Wars sequels, is a “Peggy Sue.” An African-American who relates well with whites gets called an “Uncle Tom” after the elderly slave in Harriet Beecher Stowe’s 1852 anti-slavery novel of the same name. And would you buy a dog whose name was Cujo?

Whatever the reason for using names as insults, I think we need to stop doing it. A person’s name is tied to their identity: to who they are and where they came from. They may be named for a beloved relative, for an honored historical figure, for the parents’ favorite place, or just because the name sounds good. They may bear biblical names, such as David, Mary, Adam, Martha, or yes, even Jesus (or do you say, “hay-soos”?). Whatever the name given to the child, they grow up with that name as part of who they are. For example, I was always proud of the name, Richard, as my dad’s namesake and for sharing the name with three kings of England – especially Richard the Lion-hearted, hero of the Robin Hood movies.

Last names especially point to a person’s ethnic heritage or family history, of which no one should be ashamed.  Whatever national clues show up in a person’s name, such as O’, Mc, -son or -sen, -ov or -ova, de- or d’, or ki-, we should treasure them as indicative of the journeys our families took.**

When I was the leader for local Y-Indian Guides programs, I told the new recruits to select “Indian” names for themselves and their sons. Yes, this is horribly not politically correct these days, but I instructed them to choose, carefully and respectfully, names that honored Native Americans. I told them that while they had no choice in naming themselves at their birth, they now had a chance to pick a name to be proud of. I reflected on how my dad had chosen Indian Guide names for us when I was a child: Apalachee (Helper) for himself, and Neekanah (Friend) for me.

There is no greater argument for the value of a person’s name than the examples we find in the Bible. There, names are indicators of people’s natures and importance, especially to God. Virtually every name has special meaning, for example: Adam=”man,” Eve=”mother of all living,” David= “beloved,” Abimelech=”my father is king,” Daniel=”God is my judge,” and Elijah=”my God is Yahweh.” Names were so important that God actually changed certain people’s names to reflect his interaction with them, or his new purpose for them. Some of those changes were when he renamed Abram “high father” to Abraham “father of many” (Genesis 15:5); Sarai “my princess” to Sarah “princess of Yah[weh]” (Genesis 17:15); and Jacob “grasper of the heel” to Israel “striver, contender” (Genesis 32:28).

In the New Testament, there were two significant name changes: Jesus called his disciple, Simon “he has heard” by the name, Peter “stone” when the latter professed the faith on which Christ would build his Church. (Matthew 16:18); and another great apostle, Saul “prayed for,” became known as Paul “small, humble.” Interestingly, when Paul wrote his letter to Philemon, he asked him to welcome home graciously his former slave, Onesimus, a name which means “useful.” Paul actually told Philemon that Onesimus was formerly “useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me” (Philemon 1:11).

But of all names, in the Bible or elsewhere, the ultimate significant naming was when God told Joseph and Mary to name her spirit-conceived Son, “Jesus.” Why? “You shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21). Jesus, or Yeshua, mean “the Lord saves” or “Savior.” It was the same name belonging to Joshua of the Old Testament, who led the Israelites into the Promised Land, a foreshadowing of what Jesus does for those he has redeemed. How important is Jesus’ name? Philippians 2:9-11 tells us, “Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” I rest my case.

God has told us to treat his name – and obviously, the name of his Son – with respect and reverence. The Second Commandment tells us , “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain” (Exodus 20:7). It grates on my spirit, and saddens me, when so many people today use the name of Jesus as a curse word, or flippantly say OMG when they are not actually calling on God in prayer. As Christians, those who will one day receive new names in heaven (Revelation 2:17), let us honor God by using his holy name with the love and reverence he deserves.

Shakespeare once wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” But he was wrong, at least as far as the importance a name has for the person who bears it. So let’s treat each other’s names with respect, and by doing so, bring honor to the One who calls us to himself by name (John 10:3).

Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read: Luke 1:31 and 2:21; Philippians 2:5-11; Revelation 2: 17 and 3:11-12

* Actually, the oldest profession was gardening, because, in the beginning, “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” Genesis 2:15

** Can you identify the origins of the indicated national name clues? Hint: one of them is Zulu for “son of.”