Just Not Yet

This is proving to be a very difficult article to write.

The first part is easy: to thank all of you who have been praying for my sister during her recent surgeries and for me during my 10-day visit to be with her during this trying time. Your messages sent by email and through Karen have been incredibly moving and encouraging; after about five in a row Karen sent them to me with her added note that she was tearing up just reading what you had to say. Maybe all of you should be writing blogs, instead of me!

Now comes the hard part: knowing what to tell you, and trying to put it into words that draw from our faith and the promises that God made in his Word that he would never leave us nor forsake us, that he would be a very present help in time of need.

First: deciding what to tell you. Without wanting to compromise my sister’s privacy, and recognizing that many of my reactions have been subjective, I can share just the basics: my sister went into her local hospital due to a mild heart attack and collapse of the arteries in her one remaining leg. After two surgical attempts to restore the circulation to the leg failed, the doctors determined that the leg would need to be amputated. This is about three years after losing her other leg. Knowing the blow this would be to her, and her critical condition, I flew out to be with her and help where I could. The doctors did amputate the leg on Monday the 5th. She came through fine surgically, but has medical conditions that still need attention and require her remaining under hospital care until she can be released. When she is stable enough, she will move to a rehab facility in the area.

Unfortunately, her medications and surgery have impacted her mental and emotional clarity. This has been as hard on me as was seeing her suffer before the surgery; I knew the amputation would relieve her pain and infection, but her subsequent mental and spiritual issues have no such clear ending point.

Through this all, we have prayed for a miracle, first that her circulation surgery would take, then that her leg could be saved, and now that she will recover and heal in every way.

During this time, I talked with one of our national church leaders, and after our prayer together, we agreed that we expect God to do a miracle in this situation. I still believe that God will do something powerful and amazing, but as the title of this blog states, “Just Not Yet.”

Faced with the apparent delay in answers to our prayers, I offer the following thoughts:

1. The fact my sister made it through three serious, back-to-back surgeries in spite of complicated medical conditions, is a miracle in itself. God answered our prayers and brought her through safely. (He also brought me home safely!)
2. We don’t know what God has in store in the days and weeks ahead. God is not bound to our timing, definitions of what a miracle is, or what kind of miracle is best for everyone. What I want to see may not be as good as what he will do.
3. The miracle may have already begun without my knowing. God doesn’t have to tell me everything he is doing. My role is not to approve his work, but to trust him completely.
4. This is not just fatalism or wishful thinking on my part: Jesus told us to call on the Father with all our needs in his name, and God will answer our prayers: “Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name” (John 16:23). He also encouraged us to pray, saying, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:7-11) Jesus tells us to pray, and then sits at the right hand of the Father to intercede on our behalf (Isaiah 53:12, Romans 8:34, and Acts 2:33)
5. Dealing with my sister’s mental confusion and emotional sensitivity right now has forced me to evaluate my own response to her and her condition. While I have always loved her, we are very different in many ways, and I found that many of her responses to her situation have been difficult for me to handle. This has forced me to consider two things: one, how would I respond to having both legs amputated? And two, I realized better what unconditional love is about and what it demands. She is looking forward to being reunited with her pet dogs and cat, because they give her unconditional love. They don’t care what has happened to her; she is still their world to them. If animals can have and show such unconditional love, then so can I. After all, isn’t that the kind of love Christ showed for me? “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
6. As I wrote in my previous blog, my faith in God and in Jesus Christ does not depend on him answering my prayers. Along with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, I say that our God is able to deliver us, “But if not . . .” still I will worship only him (Daniel 3). Likewise, as Job said in the midst of his physical and emotional anguish, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15), and “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) Therefore, even if there is no further apparent miracle, my faith will not be shaken.

Finally, please continue to pray for her. She has a long road to recovery ahead of her, with serious changes in her life as a result of the surgery. Please pray especially for a strengthening of the true faith in her heart and mind, that she may trust fully in Christ’s atoning work on the cross for her salvation. Let her have assurance of the greatest unconditional love of all, that of our Savior, Jesus Christ. And thanks again for your prayers!

And now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Read: Matthew 7 and Job 1