The other day, a cousin of mine called me and asked my pastoral advice on something that was bothering her. As she started to tell me what it was, her voice choked up a little – it wasn’t an academic question, but something deeply personal to her. After dealing with a number of people suffering with cancer, a good friend of hers was diagnosed with an advanced stage of the horrid disease. But what particularly bothered her, and the reason for her call, was that her prayers for her friend were not answered, even though the friend is a devout Christian and a wonderful person. For the first time, she found herself asking God, “Why no answer to my prayers?” and, “Why is this happening to her?” and, “How can my friend be at peace, when I am hurting for her?”
I answered as best I could, hoping my cousin would find some comfort. Among the things I said were things she already knew but needed to hear from someone else. Such as, that God acts according to his own will (Ephesians 1:5). And, that we can’t see what God is doing “behind the scenes.” He may have already done what we prayed for without informing us of what he is doing. And, that God always acts for the good of his people and for his own glory. I told her of the Psalms that lament, “For I was envious of the arrogant as I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (Psalm 73:3) and Jeremiah’s complaint, “Why does the way of the wicked prosper?” (Jeremiah 12:1). To us, it seems a lack of justice that the good suffer and the bad people do just fine.
We talked for a full hour, and prayed for her friend – and her. Afterwards, she said she felt better.
In the days since we talked, I thought of more to say to her, and to anyone else (including me!) who struggles with unanswered prayer.
One Sunday while I was still an active pastor, I preached a sermon in which I told the congregation about an incident in which God answered my prayer for protection. Years earlier, I was walking through a dark parking lot, when I was confronted by two dobermans. The one street light was behind them, and the atmosphere was tense. The two dogs saw me and began to shuffle toward me. I realized this could end badly, so I prayed quickly, saying, “God, these are your animals; please protect me!” All at once, I felt at peace, so I said to the dogs, “Peace, be with you!” All at once, it was as if a switch had been thrown: the tension left, the dogs settled back on their haunches, and I walked peacefully past them to my car.
After the service, I was shaking the members’ hands, when one man came up to me and said, “You know those dogs that left you alone? Well, they bit me!” Of course, he didn’t mean the same dogs, but that God didn’t protect him from being bitten in a similar situation. That got me thinking: how do we handle when God doesn’t seem to answer our prayers?
Afterwards, I thought of four situations in the Bible when people’s faith was put to the test, but they showed that their faith was not dependent on God’s answer. Their faith can be an example for all of us.
1. The first was in the Book of Daniel, Chapter 3. Three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, stood before the mighty king of Babylon, knowing that their lives could well depend on their next words. Although they held favored positions in the kingdom, that would not save them from Nebuchadnezzar’s wrath, for they had flouted his authority by refusing to obey his command. And kings do not like to be flouted.
To most people in the Kingdom of Babylon, the king’s edict was harmless enough: whenever anyone heard musical instruments. he or she was to fall down and worship a huge golden statue that the king had set up. But, to faithful Jews such as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, worshiping a graven image was forbidden by God, and therefore, they had not obeyed. Now, hauled before the king and given the choice between bowing down and being thrown into a fiery furnace, the three men gave their answer: “O Nebuchadnezzer, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning, fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Daniel 3:16-18, emphasis mine).
But if not. Note carefully what they said: they knew that God was fully able to save them from the furnace, but even if he did not, they would still hold fast to their faith in him. Their faith was not dependent on whether he answered their prayers.
2. I remembered another Old Testament man, Job, who after going through unspeakable loss and painful suffering, could still say of his Lord, “Though he slay me. I will hope in him” (Job 13:15). Job did not worship God only for the material blessing he received, nor did he abandon God when those blessings were taken away.
3. The third example is our Lord, Jesus Christ. In the Garden of Gethsemane in the night before he was crucified, he prayed to his Father that his cup (his coming suffering and death) be taken from him. And yet, though his prayers were ardent, he concluded his prayers with the statement, “nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). His love and obedience to the Father did not suffer in spite of his request not being fulfilled.
4. One more example was the Apostle Paul, who suffered from a painful affliction which he called his “thorn in the flesh.” Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:8, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.” But God did not remove the “thorn.” Instead, he replied, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” (12:9). And so Paul went on, relying on the Lord’s grace and power.
I have a few other thoughts:
- Answers to our prayers do not depend on anything in us other than our prayers. We don’t deserve either what we have nor what we ask for. Such answers are not a mark of how often or how ardently we pray. Nor of how good a person we are, nor about any “deal” we make with God. He won’t answer us because we promise to attend church more frequently or give more in our offerings. Our prayers do not need to be fancy; they can be simple prayers, as our Lord taught us (Matthew 6:5-13).
- The answers to our prayers are based on a good and gracious God. Jesus said that if our earthly fathers want to give us good things, such as a fish instead of a snake, how much more will our heavenly Father do the same (Luke 11:12).
- If at first you don’t see an answer to your prayer, try, try again. Paul told us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and our Lord told the parable of a persistent widow who only gets justice because she didn’t stop nagging the judge (Luke 18:1-8).
- If we feel we can command God to do what we say, we are reversing our relationship with him. He is not a genie in the lamp, who answers our requests with, “Your wish is my command!” He is sovereign; his wishes are our command.
- If we feel discouraged by unanswered prayers, that is a normal and very human reaction. What we need to guard against is a rejection of God and disbelief in his goodness. We must not give Satan a foothold to doubt God’s word or reality.
When we pray, we glorify God and affirm our dependence on him. Our faith is not based on the answers we see, since they are all temporary to this life, but rather on Christ’s finished work on the cross, which promises eternal joy!
We thank God for answers to our prayers, “but if not,” we will still praise him!
Now may the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Read: Matthew 5; Philippians 4: 4-7.